7.03 United by MR and AoT (Part VII)

As retold by RepairmanBob

MR: Clark and Chloe at the Daily Planet.
KK: “Lex is behind it! He is behind it all, and I can’t prove a thing!”
MR: “Chloe, the solider was stopped, you are safe and no one got hurt.”
JG: Except Steven.
KK: “You don’t get it! I knew Lex was a monster, but he actually put devices into his new pet soldiers to shut them down! If I could hack into his system, if could just prove that, I could put Lex in jail forever and have Kahn begging to put me on the top floor of the Planet!” Chloe moves to her computer.
AM: Good old SuperHacker Chloe.
MR: Clark looks concerned. “Chloe, how do you know Lex did that? There is no way he would tell you of all people that he used a computer to shut down his troopers.” Clark places his hand on Chloe’s bare shoulder, and we hear his voice. “Chloe is going to go after Lex and get hurt again. Why can’t she just let it go? She can’t stop Lex, and I won’t always be around to protect her!”
TW: I actually like that.
MR: Thought you might. Chloe looks annoyed at her computer screen, until we hear Lex’s voice. “He is making the same old arguments yet again. What next, Clark tells you these warnings aren’t going to bore you to sleep themselves? Why do you even listen to him anymore?”
AM: No.

MR: Lex is looking at a file in his study in the mansion. Lionel walks in.
JG: Ah, Lionel finally gets to mock young Lex.
MR: The usually Luthor conversation. Lex accuses Lionel of organizing the attack that put him in the hospital, Lionel denies it and mocks Lex for losing control of yet another project and getting another concussion.
AM: Lex gets a free check-up with his next concussion!
KK: Funny, but I have something better. We hear Chloe’s voice from off-screen. “The same old Luthor verbal judo. God, this bores me. Why don’t you just kill this old bastard and be done with it?”

MR: The Planet. Lex walks out in the white suit from the dream. “Hello Chloe.”
AM: No.

KK: The mansion. Chloe walk into the shot in the red dress from the dream. “Hi Lex.”
AM: You bastard. You dirty bastard.
TW: Told you to wait on that veto.

MR: Cut between the two scenes. “We.”
KK: “Need.”
MR: “To.”
KK: “Talk.”
TW: I can’t believe you brought back Sex and Kahloe.
KK: (Stares at TW with a dumbfounded expression) Are you high? The only thing Michael wanted more than his own personal Six was more naked exploding robot women?
MR: How did you get my notes for episode 7.05? (TW and KK exchange surprised looks) Never mind, I don’t want to know. We are going to cut back and forth between Lex’s study and the Daily Planet.

MR: Daily Planet. Sex - “I wonder if Jonathan had a book of dull, salt-of-the-earth sayings he left to Clark? A Self-Righteous Farmer’s Almanac?” Clark - “Chloe, why do you keep doing this?”
TW: Wait, why would Clark say that?
MR: Sex said that.
TW: But Michael just said it, and Michael is reading Lex.
AM: Michael is Sex.
MR: Why thank you!
AM: That’s not what I meant!
KK: “What the hell are you talking about?”
AM: Are you deaf? I just said that Michael was not Sex!
MR: Yes I am!
TW: But he is Lex?
JG: Now I am confused.
KK: Are you all high? Chloe said “What the hell are you talking about?” not me. I would just tell Allison she is a treacherous moron.
AM: Enough out of you!
KK: With bad hair.
TW: So now Sex is saying Chloe has bad hair?
MR: How can you all be so confused? It is a three-person scene!
TW: But we never do those on Smallville.
AM: And we certainly don’t have the same actor reading to parts of a three-way conversation.
JG: Threesomes are always challenging to set up. I recall one time –
MR: Lionel is not talking yet.
JG: I wasn’t speaking for Lionel.

MR: OK, from the top. We are going to cut back and forth between Lex’s study and the Daily Planet. Tom and John, could you read Clark and Lionel for your scenes?
JG: Must I?
KK: Just do it, John, I want to get the hell out of here and away from (points at AM) her.
AM: (Sticks out tongue at KK) What should I do?
KK: I know it will be difficult, but try to sit there and not do anything stupid for a few minutes.
MR: Daily Planet. ““I wonder if Jonathan had a book of dull, salt-of-the-earth sayings he left to Clark? A Self-Righteous Farmer’s Almanac?”
TW: “Chloe, why do you keep doing this?” Damn, I am going to hate this, aren’t I?
KK: Just say the damn lines. “What the hell are you talking about?

JG: The study. “Lex, how many plans have to fail before you get more careful? Will you never learn from your mistakes?” Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.
KK: “How much longer will you let this old man mock you before you put a bullet in his head?”
MR: “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
KK: “Well, let me fill in a few details.”

MR: Daily Planet. “Your novel use of your powers, while successful in healing Lex, had some side effects. Some spiritual scar tissue, if you will. ”

KK: Study. “When two people share a connection like you had with Chloe, it leave a mark. It has been said that sex joining of two souls. The experience you shared with (draws out name) Miss Sullivan went far (stroked Lex’s shoulder) deeper than crude physical mating.”
AM: Oh God. This is so… wrong.
MR: But so very right.

TW: Daily Planet. “Chloe, how many times do you need to risk your life to stop Lex? Why are you so obsessed with this?”
KK: “I can’t believe this.”
JG: That Chloe is finally in a three-way with Clark and Lex?
AM: Chloe is not in a threesome with Clark and Lex!
MR: Well, we know she likes to make out in cars.
KK: With guys who she fucked then never called back.
AM: But Jimmy didn’t –
MR: And she bangs Jimmy after seeing a dead body. That is pretty kinky.
AM: They never –
JG: Let’s not forget Chloe’s sex games with whipped cream.
AM: But she said –
KK: And sex in public places? I think we have plenty of precedent to support Chloe being sexually adventurous to try a threesome with Clark and Lex.
AM: Chloe would never be with Lex!
MR: I wouldn’t say that. Remember when Chloe made a pass at Lex?
AM: You just wrote that!
MR: Yeah, good times. “ Well, I can see how talking to an imaginary billionaire who you passionately dislike could be a bit confusing. But why would I lie to you? How does it benefit me? Yes, Lex lies, but only when here is something to be gained. Just like you do. Just like Clark.”

KK: Mansion. “Did you know she has four plans to kill your father? Two of them frame you.”
JG: “Lex, these projects will be the death of you.”
KK: “This from the man who just planned your assault. Let me tell you about the fourth plan…”
MR: “I cannot believe you of all people would be lecturing me about planning.”
KK: “ Chloe has always had excellent plans, one of many (continues to stroke Lex’s shoulders) attractive traits I share with her. Think of me as who Chloe wishes she could be, who she would be if she had the courage to accept her own ambitions (Stretches arms over hard, pushes our chest) and desires.
AM: Michael, you have got to be kidding me. What next, jumping jacks in a sports bra?
MR: Relax, we’ll get a body double. We did it all the time for Kristin in season four.
AM: (To TW) I cannot believe this crap.
MR: (Whispers to KK) No body doubles. No money in the budget.
KK: (whispers back) Nice. (Louder voice) Lex stands, Kahloe sits on the arm of his chair. “Just think of all the fun we can have with all of Chloe’s passion focused in a more… appropriate direction.”

Continued...