7.05 Threats by MR & ED (Part I)

as retold by RepairmanBob

Lex learns he has bigger enemies to worry about than the "Justice League". Chloe finds she has new rival at work.

(Cast walks in slowly. AM walks in with TW.)
AM: How did she get to write another episode so quickly? She already stole my last one!
TW: Hey, talk to Michael.
AM: And Kristin’s episode is up next week! Do you think Michael would be up –
TW: Don’t get me involved, Allison. I am already on Kristin’s shit list.
AM: And I’m not?
TW: No, she said you are on her Kill List.
AM: Kill List?
JG: (Who has walked up from behind them) You don’t walk to know.
AM: John! I just wanted to –
JG: Save it. You cost me Father Knows Best. No deals.
AM: But the show got cancelled anyway!
JG: And that would have voided my contract! I would have been free! (JG walks away muttering.)
AM: I am screwed, aren’t I?
TW: Oh yes.

MR: Let’s get started. Start in Lex’s office at LuthorCorp. Lex tells Hope his recent setbacks have been troubling. He reviews all of the problems he has had recently. Getting arrested, losing LuthorCorp, getting knocked into a coma, the destruction of your primary Level 33.1 facility.
ED: Kahloe pops in. ”Luckily, you got me. Sounds like a fair trade.”
MR: Lex ignored Kahloe. “Dr. Richards had better have some good news on the project.”
ED: Hope – “Should I go motivate him?” Kahloe – “Oh, can we watch?”
AM: Come on!
MR: What can I say - Kahloe likes to watch violence.
AoT: Well, Chloe did spend six years watching Clark throw people 30 feet in the air.
TW: Clark does not throw people 30 feet in the air!
KK: I think watching Clark being violent is a fetish for Chloe. She likes Clark, she likes violence –
JG: She likes whipped cream and public sex –
AM: No she –
TW: Clark does not throw people 30 feet in the air!
MR: Tell me how much Chloe dislikes violence the next time she uses a tazer. At least Kahloe is honest about it. “We will go over together. I am due for an update.” Lex and Hope walk to the elevator. “If one more thing goes wrong, I am going to kill someone.”
ED: Kahloe smiles. “Promises, promises.”

ED: Inside a security office. Two guards are watching security footage. One of the guards turns – we see a LuthorCorp logo on his jacket. “Tom, what is that on camera 43?”
MR: Cut to outside the building – it is a warehouse. Six men and women in black clothes are standing outside a locked shipping door. One of the group holds up what looks like a TV remote control, and points it at the keypad. The door opens.
ED: The group rushes inside. The guards from the first scene are waiting for them, with guns drawn. “You just made a big mistake.”
JG: At some point, you think the Luthors would hire some decent security.
AM: Like mall Rent-A-Cops?
TW: It would be an upgrade.
MR: The lead member of the group breaking in smiles. “You think?” He pulls out a pistol, and shoots an energy ray at one of the guards, knocking him 10 feet into the air. The other guard shoots his pistol, but it bounces a force field around the group. Another man throws a bolo-looking weapon at the second guard. It wraps around his neck. The second guard drops to the ground choking. The man who shot the gun turns to a woman standing to his right. “Find it.”
ED: The woman puts on a visor – think of Cyclops from the X-Men. We get her point of view, and have Predator vision – the warehouse in infra-red. She flashes through 3-4 other color settings, and then we see a crate start to flash. “Got it.”
MR: The leader and two men walks quickly but calmly to the crate. The rest of the group split up, and start placing small boxes around the warehouse. The leader points at the crate, and the two men lift it into the air. We see they are wearing metal gloves. The group walks out. Outside the building, the leader takes out a cell phone. “We have it, boss.
ED: We hear a man’s voice. “Very good. Clean the scene and return to base.”
MR: The leader pulls out another device and presses a button. The building explodes. Cue the credits.

MR: The barn. Clark is looking at satellite maps – they cover the walls. The maps are covered in sticky notes and green pins. He rushes out, then rushes backs and adds more pins. Clark scowls. “There should be more.”
KK: Looks like Clark is scouting for gay leather bars.
MR: He picks up some computer spreadsheets, checks them and then goes back to the maps. “This cannot be right.”
AoT: What is Clark doing?
KK: I told you, looking for gay leather bars. He wants to take Lex somewhere special for his –
ED: Kristin? Can we please stop making fun of Clark?
KK: (Looks surprised and a bit offended?) What did you say?
ED: I just want to get to my scene. Can you just stop it? Please?
KK: (Puts head down, starts to take notes, mutter about next week.)
JG: You chose… poorly.
ED: What?
MR: Clark’s phone rings. “Hello?
ED: It is Lois, asking about how Chloe is doing. Clark says she misses Moria, and she would be overjoyed to hear from Lois – add some Jonathan guilt trip.
JG: Those emotions and not going to manipulate themselves, Clark.
ED: “I will, Clark I promise. Soon. I just need to finish one last thing. Chloe and I will be talking before she knows it.”

MR: Smallville Hospital. Chloe is talking to a doctor.
AM: Great, Chloe got hurt before the episode even started.
ED: Oh, come on Allison! Would we do that?
AM: (Look as at KK) Some people would.
KK: (Looks back) Or worse.
ED: Oh, you two! (Laughs)
(AM and KK look at ED, at each other and back at ED with identical “Is she serious?” expressions)
ED: Chloe says “You called me, doctor?”
MR: “Yes, we have another… unusual case.”
ED: “What happened?”
MR: "The boy’s parents said he is terrified of being by himself. He becomes hysterical if he is left alone. They were thinking of sending him to Belle Reve for examination and I… well, you helped that little girl, and I thought…”
ED: You did the right thing, doctor. Can I see him?”
MR: “Yes, he is in room 207.”
KK: So now Chloe is hunting down children?
AM: Helping children.
KK: Sounds like she may be starring in the next To Catch a Predator special. “He said he had a power, and he was home alone, officer.”
AM: Why don’t you –
KK: Remember who is writing next week’s script before you finish that sentence, Allison.
AM: (Sits back down. She takes out a pad, and starts to take notes.)
ED: Chloe enters the room. A four year-old boy is sitting with his mother. The boy is crying, the mom is on the verge of tears. “Please mommy! Don’t go! Don’t leave me!”
MR: The mom turns to Chloe. “Are you –“
ED: “Yes, ma’am. Can I talk to your son?”
MR: Mom turns to son. "It’s OK, Johnny. Mommy will be right outside.”
ED: The boy continues to cry. “Please Mommy! Don't leave! Don't let me go away! Please!” Chloe walks to the boy, smiles at him. “It is alright, Johnny. My name is Chloe. Mrs. Smith, could you step outside?” Mom looks unsure, but walks outside.
MR: The little boy is still sniffling, but had stopped crying. “Can you help me? Can you keep me from going away?”
ED: “What do you mean going away?”
MR: Johnny raises his arm – it becomes invisible. “When I am by myself, I go away. I am scared I…” starts sniffling again “I will go away and Mommy and Daddy won’t see me…” breaks into full tears “and they will think I ran away and they will leave me and I will be all alone and- “ Johnny loses it, breaks into hysterics.
ED: Chloe hugs him – no skin contact. “It is alright, Johnny. I am going to help you.” She lifts an arm, and starts to move it toward his bare cheek.
KK: Someone call the police! Run little boy!
JG: Officer, the blond lady touches me in my naughty place!
AM: You two are sick.
ED: “I will make sure your Mom and Dad never leave you.”

continued...